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Dawn

Occupation

Full time Nursing Student

Location

Pennsylvania

Interests

Spending time with My Family (that includes my Tcup Chihuahua P-Nut!) attending my kids sports events reading my college books ( Nursing Books) camping anything involving summer time and I also love all the holidays.....

I am a: mother of two beautiful boys, Wife of a GREAT Husband, Daughter of two great parents, and a Student of a great Nursing program. I was born 2/29/76, so that makes me a "leap year baby". I held a few great job positions in my time.... I worked as a Veterinary technician for a few years, then as a Tech in a Endoscopic room in an Operating room for 6 years. I made the choice to leave that job in the O.R. for a chance to fulfill a dream of becoming a Nurse.
I have some personal demons, such as past family issues, and eating/dieting habits. I have such a hard time with me weight. I am an emotional eater, I eat for all emotions! I even eat when I am bored, eat just because the food is there, eat because i feel when at a gatering that includes food i think i am expected to eat- even if i'm not hungry. I have tried every diet out there. Pills, programs, my own......you name it, I probably have done it. I have NEVER been "thin", or "just right" with my weight. My goal for 08': LOSE IT 4 GOOD!!!!!!!

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Susan & Patti's Journeywrote:

Hi Dawn....I just finished reading most of your blog. May I make a suggestion? Can you take a nutrition class while studing for your nursing degree? What you need is to learn how to eat healthy for yourself & your family. If your entire family is all focused on eating healthier & feeling better it will be easier for you to resist the foods that set you back. Since you seem to have trouble doing it for yourself, why not pledge to do this for your sons so they don't grow up to have weight issues. Just a thought. For me, diets don't really work because you can't live your entire life on one. I needed something that was sustainable, so I read, saw nutritionists & put it all into practice + I walk a lot & keep a food journal. So far I have lost 100 pounds & am working on my next 100 pounds. I hope you find what works for you because you are so down on yourself & you shouldn't be. It's hard & you are NOT alone. Please stay focused, visit other MPMU Biggest Losers & get motivated. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Wear a safety pin as a symbol of support for all of the Biggest Losers.

Feb. 2

Picture of Jenny and Juls, The "Bom Chicka Wah Wah" Sisters

Jenny and Juls, The "Bom Ch...wrote:

In our fight against fat, hear our battle cry...

KEEP GOING and don't forget to breathe

Jan. 20

Dawn's Blog

January 25

gotta get my but in gear!

Okay,

Here is the thing......

I am feeling much better inside, so now I just have to begin working on the outside, right? RIGHT!!!!

I am starting to tan, styling my hair more often & wearing some things like eye shadow,lipstick,and mascara. ( if you knew me, you would know i normally don't do much if ANY of the above....ever)

Today, i had an awakening. A real eye opening thought(s).

I was awaken by my husband getting up and ready for work. He is kinda loud lately in the mornings. Wanna know what he does? He gets up, and goes to the stereo in our living room and turns it on. After that- RIGHT ON THE TREADMILL HE GOES!

I have been watching him do this now for this entire week, but the feelings suddenly hit me this morning.......OMG, a repeat of his last go around with weight loss!

I sat around and watched him work his ass off before. I whined because i lost nothing, or very little, and he lost more than 100lbs!

but i have no right to do that, he is working very hard to achieve his goal(s), and I..........well I am NOT.

THAT HAS TO CHANGE!

I see how dedicated he is, and I know there is no reason I cannot be the same way. He exercises twice a day. He goes to an exercise facility called UpBeat EVERYDAY after work, and before work, he does 20min. on the treadmill (at a speend of 3.8 !!).

I have a free pass to go to the YMCA in Olean since I am a JCC student. And there are days I have plenty of time to go, I just don't.

Well, as of today, I am gonna change my ways!

I am gonna start getting my act into gear with all aspects of my life!

I'll keep you posted!

January 21

What am I doing? What should I be doing? UGH!!!

Okay,

So I read this SCARY information i was sent on KIMKINS...........

WOW!

I can relate with some of the issues/feelings. I have been on Kimkins 2 times. The first time i went from 192lbs to 169lbs! It seemed like it took no time what-so-ever to lose the weight also.

I was so happy to see the numbers drop, that i swore that NOTHING else was going to work and that I had to stick to this diet plan NO MATTER WHAT!

Now, I am a carboholic BIG time..........so that makes a diet like this one VERY hard to stick to. BUT, once I saw the weight loss, I WAS DETERMINED!!!!!!

I eventually became obcessed with everything and anything I ate. I had minimal calories.

I became moody BIG time. But, i was extreemly happy with my weight loss because NOTHING worked for me other than Kimkins & Weight Watchers. The difference for me between both Weight Watchers and Kimkins was that I did lose weight with both, but much faster (i mean much faster!) with Kimkins. Now who would not stick to a diet where you are going to become the size you wanna be sooner?

Now, the second time around with Kimkins, I just have found myself feeling like a failure. I am not losing the weight like I once had, and I am falling off the "band wagon" frequently.

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! BUT WHAT?!?!?

So, here is the thing........

I cannot let "failing" with Kimkins upset/depress me. I need to see what my Doctor has to offer me at my next visit. He claims there is a diet that he will put me on that I can eat anything I want....... and I will STILL LOSE WEIGHT! one to two lbs a week. ( I know, that seems SLOW...... and that I want to lose it MUCH FASTER......but i am now at the point where i am willing to do what ever it takes to lose the weight. I no longer care about how long it takes, as long as it comes off!) I have an appointment on 2/5 to see him again, and it is a 1/2 hr. counseltation on this "plan". I hope what he has for me will help me!

I'll keep everyone posted as to what it is, and if it works.

But, until then......WHAT DO I DO? I am so drawn to my old ways (Kimkins) that I am confused as to what I should do.

Any one have any suggestions? LET ME KNOW!!!!!

Thanks~

Dawn.

2:15 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it

January 20

What is wrong with me?

This is one of my favorite pictures. It is of Tyler & Robbie ( my two boys ) at the Sunbury Boat Races~

Okay,

I am 31 years old. I have been for as long as I can remember~ OVERWEIGHT!

I don't think that I would call myself "obese", although the numbers say I am.

I spend everyday at the same size, in the same clothes, with the same appearance. I HATE IT, AND ALWAYS HAVE!!!!! So, why can't I change?

I have been so depressed for so long over how I look, and feel. I have had embarassing moments, and put -downs that one would think would be motivation enough.

There is always someone in my life questioning my intents with everything I do, including my eating, and studies.

Yes, incase you did not know...........I am a college student. I am attending college to become a Registered Nurse. I have a rotten life right now, due to financial reasons. So, at times i even lose intrest in school.

I may have to make some upcomming changes to my route I am taking right now in school, and I am none to thrilled about it. (nothing is carved in stone, YET.)

I have to be honest here...... I have given in to temptation and feelings of hopelessness lately. I went to get myself lunch one day while at school, and I went strait to Burger King.

I should be ashamed, and I am ashamed.

I just had a moment of weakness, and I gave in.

But, you see it is those moments of weakness that I cannot seem to control, even if I wanted to. This is how I remain overweight, and I am tired of it.

How do I stop myself?

I went to see my doctor a week ago. I asked him to put me back on a medication that the doctor he replaced had put me on, Xenical. He said no to my request. He says he is not that kind of doctor that will put someone on a weight loss meidication that has no proof behind it that it actually works.

So, guess what he did............ Had me schedual a counseltation for dietary reasons with him on 2/5 to discuss a weight loss plan that he gaurentees will work for me as long as I stick to it.

Who knows..........maybe he will be able to help me, and maybe not.

I don't think that Kimkins is the right plan for me, since every so often I have immense carb cravings.

I find I am unable to remain devoted to it.

What shall I call that? Lack of willpower, or just the wrong diet for me?

I don't know.

I am just so consumed by all my responsibilities, and i feel that i am afraid most of my failures. The failures are what will ruin me in the end.

I allow them, so they win.

OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME BE STRONG. I AM SLIPPING, AND I NEED A HAND RIGHT NOW. I NEED GUIDED THROUGH OUT MY STRUGGLES RIGHT NOW. I AM WASTING EVERYDAY GIVEN TO ME, AND I SO BADLY WANT TO STOP. I WANT TO ENJOY EVERYDAY OF LIFE GIVEN TO ME, BUT I JUST DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO. HELP ME~

.........some of you may think that was wierd, but that was how I felt at the moment. I needed to ask for help. I thought it, and I felt it. I hope he heard it.

I just want to be happy, and right now.........i am having a hard time doing so.

~later.........

1:18 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (1) | Permalink | Blog it

January 11

Changes are on the way~

Today is 1/11/08,

I gotta be honest....... 11 days into a diet, and I have wasted a few of them. It always happens with me.

I have something personal happen to me, something to upset me and that is what i do, blow it for myself.

Supprized? HA~ If you know me, I am sure you are saying, figures.

But, at least I am only 11 days in when I realize it.

Times are gonna soon change for me.

I have to attend classes as of Monday, guess what that means~ A trip to the YMCA. I am able to use the YMCA for free since I am a JCC Student. YIPPIE! Elliptical, here I come!

I have a goal of at least a 10lb loss by my birthday. (2/29/76) That is my birthday present! I will be having a REAL birthday this year, so I will treat it like it's a big deal by surprizing myself with a weight loss.

I was going to weigh myself every saturday, But I think I am NOT going to touch that scale till my birthday. I want to have at least one reason to smile on that day!!!! HA HA HA. (getting older is NO REASON to smile~)

So, I am going to get off here now.

I have got to have my breakfast...... and I don't get that till I have earned it. Gotta get myself on the treadmill!

( This is me having a good time with one of my most favorite people in the world... Dr. Marrero. Boy, do I miss working with him and the others! )

9:11 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Health and wellness

January 08

What a beautiful day!

What a beautiful day we are having today!

The sun is partially out, and it is kinda warm out there! Talk about a MOTIVATOR!

It just makes me think of what is inevitable~ SUMMER! And OH MY GOD, I cannot go another summer overweight! I just cannot!

Now, I was going to blog on here everyday. Use this site like ti were a "journal" for me, but I did not blog yesterday because I had no internet connection! My phone line is all messed up! It really stinks. Everytime the rain pours, or the sun shines and melts snow, the box outside our home for our phone gets wet. The stupid Directv guy ruined our phone box outside..........just cause he needed access to it. So now when anyone calls, they get either dead silence, or a busy signal.

Oh well. Nothing to get extremely upset over. It will get fixed eventually.

Well, I guess I am being a "good girl"....... I have no issues other than bloat. I was drinking diet Pepsi, and that for me has to be a no-no. I cannot handle it. I bloat very badly!

So, anyhow I will be weighing in at my home once a week. I will weigh in on saturdays for now...........so ta ta till tomorrow!

11:18 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Health and wellness

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